These are all questions I found myself in yesterday after receiving an email from another Healing Touch Practitioner, chock full of judgment and asking me to remove her from my email list. Boy did she spew the judgment!
Immediately after reading her email I went into judging me and buying into the lies she was projecting onto me. It didn’t help that she stated she “had to unfriend me on FB because my energy was so bad and full of sexual connotations”. I had just discovered someone else who I love very much and thought to be good friends with had unfriended me as well with no explanation. So needless to say, I found myself quickly jumping into self-judgement and buying into this practitioners stuff.
Then I stopped myself! I pulled myself out of her conclusions and started asking questions to work through the energy of what I was feeling. I was aware that her projections were a reflection of her crap, not mine. Nevertheless, I had my own crap coming up as a result of her projections and this had to be dealt with.
“Where am I not willing to receive judgment that if I would receive it would allow me to be more of who I be?”
Sometimes we immediately shut down when judgment comes at us. In order to protect ourselves, we shut our hearts down which already holds the pain of the judgment and that energy gets trapped in there. But, what if instead we stayed open as the energy of the judgment comes at us? What if we were willing to receive the energy of the judgment, not buying into it, but rather allowing it to pass through us?
“What have I made so vital about other people’s judgments of me that it causes me to be less of who I be?”
“Everywhere I am unwilling to receive judgment, therefore, blocking myself from receiving all the Universe has in store for me, I destroy and uncreate all of that now x’s a godzillion. GBRWPPA9SBB”
“Everywhere I have bought into the lie that other people’s judgments and opinions of me determine my worth I destroy and uncreate all of that x’s a godzillion. GBRWPPA9SBB”
What is the deal with us giving other people authority over us? What do they know that somehow gives them the authority to make us right or wrong for how we show up in the world? What power do they have to stipulate the boundaries or the behaviors we are to agree too?
“Everywhere I am making myself wrong and judging me because of someone else's projections of what I should be. I destroy and uncreate x’s a godzillion. GBRWPPA9SBB ”
“Everywhere that I am receiving others judgments as authority and, therefore, making myself wrong for not meeting their expectations of who I should be. I destroy and uncreate x’s a godzillion. GBRWPPA9SBB ”
Then I had a BOOM of awareness come in. I have always shied away from letting people get close to me. I can count on one hand the number of close friends I have. The awareness was that I have a fear of judgment and rejection. The closer you let people in, the more you are truly seen, and the more you open yourself up for judgment and rejection. This has not only affected my relationships, but it has also affected my business as well. When my guides started asking me to step out and be seen more, I panicked and withdrew. How often do we withdraw from community, people who love us, or just society in general because we are afraid of being seen, judged and rejected?
“Everywhere that I am choosing not to be seen, fearing judgment and rejection and, therefore, agreeing to be less than who I BE, I destroy and uncreate all of that x’s a godzillion. GBRWPPA9SBB”
After about an hour of processing myself, I felt so much lighter and had newfound awareness of my own fear around judgments and rejections. I asked myself if I will choose to be different because of the things she said about me and how I show up in the world. The answer is yes and no. No, I will not stop being sexually expressive because someone else has made sexual energy shameful. No, I will not stop expressing my heart because it makes someone else uncomfortable. No, I will not stop sharing my authentic self because someone else feels threatened or offended by it. No, I will not hide my body because someone else finds shame in theirs. These are all their lies, societies lies and I’m not buying it!
However, my Yeses are there too. YES, I will change how I show up in the world in response to this letter!! I will show up with more courage to be who I be without fear of being judged or rejected. I will not hide from the world and be afraid to make mistakes or be afraid of not meeting expectations. I will keep my heart open at all times no matter what so that I can continue to receive all the goodness the Universe has in store for me.
We all have the power to choose. We get to choose who we be in any given moment. If we don’t like who we be, we can choose to be something different right away. We get to choose who we surround ourselves with, who we are vulnerable with, who we let in and, who we love. And whatever we choose is our choice!!! Don’t let anyone make you wrong for your choices. Don’t even let yourself make you wrong for your choices. Right and wrong in and of itself is judgment and conclusion. There is ZERO possibility in CONCLUSION!!!
I choose more possibility in my world, NOT conclusion. So I left this practitioner in her judgments, which were ultimately reflections within her, and I stayed in question.
How much more possibility did I create for myself and my reality by choosing question over conclusion?
How much more potent can I be in the world now from the awareness that came from my questions?
What else is possible?
I hope this sharing offers you more expansion and possibility in your reality. When you have moments like this where someone else is judging or attacking your moral, your character and who you fucking be… don’t go into their conclusions. Don’t even go into their energy…GO WITHIN YOU! PROCESS YOU! FACILITATE YOUR OWN HEALING!
I love you like crazy!!!
Now GO BE AWESOME!!!